Saturday, January 5, 2008

Felix Felicis.. slurp :P

I’ve always considered myself lucky, if there’s such a thing as luck. I’ve never really thought much about it, except for the small prayer of thanks I mutter on those happy occasions. Just making the cutoff for a grade, being fortunate enough to maintain an 8-point cg with minimal efforts, things generally falling in place after the initial chaos - I’ve never questioned the quirks of fate any of those times. Why would I, you ask, when everything’s just fine and dandy for me. After all, who says ‘Why me?’ in the midst of good fortune? Fair enough. It’s the ‘Why her?’ of bystanders that I’m scared of, that I do not like. Is it my imagination, is it a guilty conscience, a low sense of self-worth, or is there an accusatory undertone to that question? ‘She doesn’t deserve it, why her?’ I can almost hear the unsaid words hanging in the air. I don’t know, I want to tell them, I don’t make these things happen. It’s as unexpected to me as it is to you. And I can’t help but share some of their feeling, that maybe I don’t deserve the good fortune. Hell, it kills the joy of feeling lucky in the first place. In fact, it’s almost worse than being unlucky, this, having ‘ill-deserved’ good luck thrust upon you that makes you feel all guilty and unworthy. Almost.

But when I think about it, I realize there are as many instances of bad luck as good, just ignored or forgotten. I’ve missed grades by just a few marks, too. And I’ve had my fair share of just-missing-the-bus (yes, figurative) episodes; instances that make me wonder if Murphy used me as his subject. But no, they are only seen as either amusing anecdotes, or what I had coming, due to my own faults.

There is method in the madness, even if it is not apparent to us. God doesn’t play dice with the world, after all. So even as the seeming injustice rankles, and you frown disapprovingly as Lady Luck smiles at me, remember, whatever happens, happens for a reason. Today it’s me, tomorrow it could be you. Or the day after. Or - you know.

PS - And any fool who calls a totaling mistake in my paper, luck, deserves a punch in the face. Those are my marks, smart alec, I’d be unlucky not to notice it.

9 comments:

rip van winkle said...

I realize I sound a tad more defensive than intended.. No offense meant to anyone!

Full Of Life said...

Lol. Luck is something that evades me completely. Hell yea, sometimes I do get lucky...but where it matters I usually dont. So keep smiling young lady...u r truly blessed.
Btw who was this post addressed to? Despite your defense, I clearly sense the accusation behind it. hehehe :P

kniOledge ( Oink ) said...

i believe all have an equal proportion of good luck, just that some events blessd by 'lady luck' are more in the public eye than others.
anyways thats something out of our hands, so why bother about it ? roughly we get what we deserve, y bother about other's slight turn of fortunes either way ?
n yea i agree with fol , who u addressin ? :P ( i dont expect an answr ob, just pushin my 'luck' :P )

Vidya said...

tell me now!!!! whos the person??? i kno there is! :P

rip van winkle said...

Omg! Noone specific, you guys! Seriously! Over the years, lots of people have mentioned to me, and I've started thinking about it of late. Ergo the post :) thassall

okkra said...

you can still write!!!! and it very true....when you have bad luck it can really bring you down but in the long run you rarely tend t remember thr inif course good luck everyone else remembers for you :)

rip van winkle said...

God forbid I forget how to write! After 12th math, physics, chem and bio all gone to the dogs and heaven knows I haven't picked up much here.. English my only saviour now!

Oink said...

yet another lost comment :P

lets see you unearth this :D
(me got end terms tomorrow, and im doing this

fiddlesticks said...

gotcha!